The Finer Points of Troll Physiology
by Hugo V
Summary: Rose and Kanaya just can't enjoy a romantic evening without one of their neuroses getting in the way. *short one-shot more M than T*


**Author's Note: I think Rose is a tad OOC in this, but only by a smidgen. A hair. An ounce. Anyway, on with the story. **

**I do not own Homestuck nor any of its Affiliates.**

**Discretion is Advised**

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As you trail your way down Kanaya's bare abdomen, planting small kisses all the while, you find her lack of a belly button mildly jarring. It makes sense in retrospect from what she's told you. Trolls emerge as grubs, never growing in utero; this negates an umbilical chord. Still, the thought dwindles your arousal.

It seems to do the same to hers as she looks down, green eyes like a pair of worried spotlights. The words leave her lips, "Is Something Troubling You Rose?" and you wonder for a brief moment if there actually is. Your omnipresent need for observation is more often than not a curse.

"My understanding of troll anatomy is limited as of now, sure, but there are several things I can't make sense of," you respond, believing honesty to be the best policy in any healthy relationship. The moment between you and Kanaya tragically dies as she adjusts herself into a sitting position - more comfortable but far less pleased.

"Do You Think It Is The Best Time For A Discussion Of This Broad A Nature?" You can easily hear the edge to her tone, not like she's trying to hide it. This is the first of your romantic evenings to end in something intimate as stomach smooching, only to be frozen solid by your blizzard of analysis.

Congrats.

"If not now, then when?" You ask, meaning well. Kanaya sighs, clearly exasperated by this sudden turn of events. There's a furrow to her beautiful brow as she steels herself for the coming barrage. "If the male and female of your species have the faculties to breed with one another regardless of affiliation, what is the purpose of gender? How is that possible if the sets of genitalia are specific to each sex? _More _more importantly, why do you have breasts if they do not serve a maternal purpose?"

You pull back slightly as she spontaneously removes her black shirt and tosses it to the side, revealing a generous bout of cleavage wedged in the hold of lacy jade lingerie. This generous 'Y' draws your attention, forcefully dismissing any past thoughts on logistics. What were you talking about again?

"I Want You To Use Your Mouth For Pleasure. Not Business. If You Comply I Guarantee Mutual Satisfaction. Should You Not..." Kanaya saunters forward, lacing her forearms around the swell of your hips, "I Will Be Dissatisfied With This Evening Which Until Now Has Met The Highest Of Standards."

Neither of you dare to move, locked in the intensity of a sultry gaze. No, not sult-_ry. _Sult itself. The contour of her left cheek bone is the last thing you see before pressing forward, meeting her open mouth. She takes charge in round two, spinning to push you backwards onto the unoccupied bed. You willfully take her weight in your arms as she slides inwards, settling against you.

Two hands, your own, navigate to her shoulders, then downwards, ever downwards, until you reach the promised land. You mentally note the firmness of her ass for later contemplation, gripping it to hoist yourself even closer than you already are. She briefly parts from your lips with a whimper, her odorless breath hot on your chin.

Kanaya takes the initiative, reaching back to undo the clasp on her bra; its straps fall limp, and soon the entire article is lost to the floor. She dives for a kiss but you dodge, nibbling her neck instead. The release of an unabashed moan sends shivers dancing through you, but it is short lived. The troll's near predatory dominance takes over.

In a flash of orange cloth, you're nearly as naked as her. With the second skin of your god-tier hood peeled off, you feel vulnerable, but not cold. Her embrace is ample in its heat. Kanaya skims your collarbone, your jaw, your tender ear with swooping nibbles, amusing you as much as it arouses. Her pointed teeth aren't sharp enough to puncture the epidermal without pressure, satisfied with harmless grazing.

For now.

You question if the self proclaimed 'rainbow drinker' has ever tasted red, and the notion inspires an innocent little idea. Regaining an ounce of lucidity in the blissful haze, you manage a strained, "Kanaya, darling." She stops, lifting herself on straight arms.

"Yes Rose?"

"I wouldn't be opposed to you luxuriating in the darker indulgences of vampirism." You smirk, whispering in a cutesy voice, "I don't know if I'd be capable of defending myself, or preventing your advances."

A quizzical expression flashes across her for a second, but it's gone fast, replaced by a widening grin; her fangs appear at full length. As she sinks into your the crook of your neck, you let loose a surprised cry. The pain is considerable, but not without a thrilling buzz.

Wasn't she going to warn you against the dangers of losing self-control? Or lecture you on how foolish your invitation was? But no, she continues to suck, and lap, and relish in your fresh wound. It's shallow enough that you needn't worry about anemia. Your face contorts from an 'o,' to an 'O.' Kanaya drinks deep from your body, savouring the blood like fine wine; her throat tenses and protracts with each measured swallow, something you absently notice.

After she's had her fill, roughly two minutes later, she detaches and rolls to join you in staring at the ceiling. Both of you are spent, content to linger in each other's company without physical contact. Kanaya speaks up, embarassment evident in her blush.

"I Did Not Take Advantage Of Your Openness I Would Hope." A small crimson droplet trails from the corner of her mouth and she catches it with a fingertip. Your head is swimming, but you don't want her to feel entirely responsible. It was your suggestion after all.

"No, no," you breathe. Seized by curiosity, you ask how it was.

Kanaya's smile answers you before her words do, "Fantastic. You Tasted Uniquely Rose." She pauses. "Oh My. I Am Beginning To Sound Like Terezi." Your giggles soon meld with hers, punctuated by the random hiccup. She turns on her side, and you mirror. "You Look Tired."

"It's impossible to tell accurate time on this meteor, but I do believe it might be getting into the late evening." You say, gradually succumbing to fatigue; you can't for the life of you remember the last time you legitimately slept. It seems like forever ago.

"Stay Here For Tonight."

You fake a gasp. "People will talk."

Kanaya gives a defiant, "Let Them!" and it's the first occasion you hear her raise her voice, if only in jest. Your lavender eyes half-lidded, she kisses them closed.

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**And that's it! I hope you enjoyed, feel free to tell me what you think! ;)**


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